A Daily Roundup

Firstly, I would like to congratulate Sarah Palin for writing the first memoir of her illustrious non-career, "Going Rogue," which has already sold 1.5 million copies.  Personally I would imagine that any Jack London novel would cover the topics of ... well, anything having to do with hunting, snow, snow dogs, and Alaska in significantly better prose than Palin (read: Palin speechwriters.)  Fans of down-home folksy "you betchya's" would be better off buying the Palin memoir.  A major selling point for London, however, is that his books are currently available in eBook format, while Palin fans will be forced to endure the agonizing wait for the Going Rogue eBook until after Christmas, a major blow for eager GOP eGift givers.

Also this week, Tufts University took a hard line on roommate relations when it announced that sex is prohibited if roommates are present.  Many Tufts students who often resort to a combination of noise isolating headphones and foam earplugs in order to block out the live-action National Geographic documentaries frequently occurring in their rooms believe the policy to be a godsend.  Most, however, think these aforementioned students should learn to read the not-so-subtle codes on their door-mounted dry erase board.

As the debate on health care (without a doubt the most pressing, has-to-be-done-right-now issue currently facing our nation) continues in Congress, Americans rejoice at the possibility of enjoying a DMV-like atmosphere at their local hospital:

Hold on, I'm sure I have that form in here somewhere.  What...signed and notarized in TRIPLICATE?!

If the Democrats cannot pass a bill on the Eighth Circle of Hell through a vote, they will settle for the Fifth Circle by exercising Budget Reconciliation.

In lighter-headed news, I recently viewed the video of Tim Tebow being smoked, first by Kentucky's Taylor Wyndham, and nanoseconds later by the massive leg of his O-Lineman Marcus Gilbert.  
(I  now have a mild concussion.)  Instantly, the church-going intentions of Gator fans quadrupled, so in reality Tebow should be thankful, and would have pointed to the sky in praise if he had any fucking idea where that was.  He later recalled that after the hit, he had seen Jesus, but I've seen a lot of paintings of Jesus, none of which feature Him in blue wearing number 94.